Profiles In Blurrage

Profiles in blurrage

Matching man to machine

JOHN BURNS

HAT'S RIGHT, THE CYCLE WORLD IS A NICE PLANET TO INHABIT in this amazing and expanding universe. For proof, look no farther than the faces of the 10 other riders embarked on this most recent voyage. Except for the addition of young Cernicky and the lovely Megan, they're all the same mugs as when I left CW eight years ago—quite amazing in this racket. It's a happy if slightly eccentric group (I'm the only normal guy in the bunch), just like the 10 bikes they picked for this deal.

After I left CWto go on to bigger and better things (stifled snicker), I bumped into these guys only on rare occasions (except for Canet, who would always pass me at a high rate

of speed on all the new sportbike junkets). Now that I'm back, it feels like returning from maybe a two-week vaca tion. Back with the old mates, mate. They let me back into the fold like I'd never been gone, and only tried to kill me a couple of times...

Anyway, wanting to lighten their load, I've taken the liberty of choosing each editor's favorite streetbike. No thanks need ed, just happy to help out:

Editorial Director PaUl Dean, affectionately known to millions as "The Red Skull," looks exactly the same as he did in `94 though he's got to be pushing, what, 110? I attribute the arrested-aging process to riding motorcycles a lot, particularly the way Paul rides. He generally pulls at least one move per ride that actually stops his heart for several minutes. These "cardiac rest periods" are great for the heart muscles and cleanse the colon as well. Paul rides hard and fast; he'll want the Yamaha FZ1. (That's Ofor 1, John. PD picked the Interceptor first. -Ed.)

Publisher Larry Little. Originally a lowly ad guy, LL is now a cigar-chomping publishing mogul fuliy grown into his expen sive shoes. Reputedly an excellent dirt rider, it shows not at all when he's on a streetbike. Being a bottom-line Type-A busi ness type, LL appreciates the finer things and knows which strings to pull to get the best possible deal on goods and ser vices. I'm seeing LL picking the Ducati ST4S. (Incorrect again. Larry likes the V-Strom. And good luck getting an invite to the palatial Cycle World skybox at the Laguna Seca World Supers. -Ed.)

Editor-in-Chief David Edwards is a tough call. Hmmm, he's got a garage full of old Indians, Yamaha Seca 650s and everything in between. He's all over the map. As the leader of the World's Largest Motorcycle Magazine, he's accus tomed to living in regal splendor. For him, either the V Strom, which does everything well but may be a bit too common, or the Buell, which does one thing well but cer tainly is unique. (John, you blow. I'm all over the Interceptor. And "regal splendor? " Hey, I'm not the one with a yacht and a Jag -Ed.)

Corey Eastman. Dude, what is your title anyway? CE has something to do with Event Planning, which is right next door to advertising sales guy, which is not a bad thing but means he's developed an amazing talent over the years for giving the impression he loves everyone and everything, which makes him hard to read: "This is great, General Custer! What a chance to meet and greet our Native American hosts!" Corey's also a dyed-in-the-wool off-road guy. Come to think of it, chalk up another vote for the V Strom. (El Wrongo, again, Juan B. The Marketing Manager goes for the Interceptor big time. Maybe this whole "John `s Guess" thing was a bad idea, eh? -Ed.)

Managing Editor Matthew Miles needs Order above all else, to keep the stately CW ship from foundering on the rocks. Precision and neatness count. Honda Interceptor 800. (Well, finally, a correct pick! `Course, Matt `s an easy read. -Ed.)

Assistant Editor Mai'k Cernicky, supermotard junkie and a youth fond of traction at neither end, would be your worst F4i, squid-in-mirrors nightmare if not for the civilizing influence provided by girlfriend Megan on this particular outing. He's riding for two. They'll want either the Aprilia Futura (one of the finest sporty passenger-haulers of all time) or the V-Strom, which is also a two-up tour-de-force. (Oh-me-gawd! Two in a row. Sir Nicky goes for the V Strominator. -Ed.)

Off-Road Editor Jimflly LeWIS has nothing to prove. He's done Pans-Dakar on a BMW Twin and only wants to return in peace to the family avocado farm-especially with his still-healing wrist. You wanna go past? With his blessings. Say, he goes fast for a one-armed man... JL is one of the best off-roaders in the world, and of course thinks riding on pavement is to motorcycling what riding the Matterhorn at Disneyland is to mountain climbing-slightly amusing yet pointless. He's gotta go for the V-Strom. (Here we go again. Jimmy picked the FZJ as Best Streetbike-and says he only let you past on Bouquet Canyon because he didn `t want to get caught up in your crash. -Ed.)

Road Test Editor Don CaNOt is faster on a road circuit than any other journalist in the U.S., maybe the world, and faster than many of the past rac ing heroes manufacturers often bring along for pressintro flavor, too. He's got no time for any of the intangibles less-dedicated riders might point to when choosing a bike. He likes a machine where everything works like it's supposed to, when it's supposed to, no

excuses. Honda CBR or VFR. (A little wishy washy, but yes the VFR. One guess per rider, please. -Ed.)

Contributing Editor Allifil Girdler is your eccentric uncle, with an attic so overstuffed it doesn't pay to open the door unless you have a few days to kill. Prone to picking wildly divergent-some would say inap propriate-ornaments for the bushy Christmas tree that is his life (forgot to ask him what happened with the sweet young trumpet player I saw him with last), Allan's the guy who throws off the whole dang curve by picking the bike you'd least suspect for the strangest reason. For him, the ZZ-R1200 because, uh, because he's a big fan of bauxite? (The trumpet player is now an ex-w~fe, Mr. Tact, and the ZZ-R was not among AG `sfinalists. He went for the V-Strom, which when you think about it, is the perfect bike for him... -Ed.)

Contributing Editor Steve Anderson. Short-sleeve Steve and Erik Buell could be brothers almost. Both ex-pocket protector engineering types sworn to doing things their own way, both marching to different drummers-Steve's per cussionist must be on the planet Remulac, however, or possibly Tralfamador. Though a vociferous proponent of the now antique-feel ing BMW RS, I think he'll be voting Buell XB9R. (Talk about your Bitter Little Man! What, did yaflunk Physics or something? Twin brothers of different mothers aside, Anderson took the V-Strom over the Buell. What's that, 3for 10? Nice gUm'. Try to get your own pick correct, okay? -Ed)

Right, as for mYSeIt, I like the V-Strom. Tall, rugged, powerful, outdoorsy, vir ile, jack-of-all trades, master of none, semi-cheap. It or the Aprilia, as long as I don't have to pay....