Ups And Downs

UPS AND DOWNS

ROUNDUP

UP: To Brian Loughrey, of Westfield, New Jersey, for being the first reader to correctly identify the mystery rider in CW's February “Ups and Downs” section as the late, great rocker Roy Orbison. Loughrey was so obsessed with winning the contest’s prize, a Team CW T-shirt, that he sent his guess to us by UPS Next Day Mail, beating even the earliest of the other 177 correct entries here by at least three days. Incorrect guesses were also numerous, and produced a mystifying selection of identities for the mystery rider, including Elton John, George Bush, Jack Nicholson, Richard Nixon, General Wojceich Jaruzelski, Truman Capote, John Wayne, George Shearing(!) and Wally Cox.

UP: To astronauts manning the Soviet space station “Mir,” who, in December, used what the Associated Press called “a space motorcycle” to work outside the station in what the AP said was “greater safety and comfort.” No word on whether or not this Russian space motorcycle was a development of a captured WWII BMW.

DOWN: To Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance for a full-page ad in Newsweek which included, in a short, emotional list of promises supposedly worth keeping, the following: “A promise that the last time I rode my motorcycle was the last time.” Obviously, we disagree, and our own promise is to never do business with any company affiliated with MassMutual.

UP: To Officer Rick Wagner, 38, of the Los Angeles Police Department, for getting his man. His man, in this case, was attempting to escape after being stopped for weaving through traffic at speeds of up to 75 miles per hour on his 1983 Honda. Wagner, thinking fast when the bike’s rider apparently decided he’d seen enough of the men in blue, jumped onto the bike’s passenger seat and rode along, “encouraging” the man to stop.

Eventually, after a lane-splitting ride at speeds of about 50 miles per hour through heavy freeway traffic, he did so. Wagner, of course, busted him on, you guessed it, suspicion of kidnapping. A computer check of the man’s record indicated $3000 worth of unpaid traffic tickets, probably sufficient reason, at least in his own mind, for his attempted flight from the long arm of the law. Said Wagner of his unexpected ride, “It was intense. I was trying to talk calmly to the guy, and he acted like he was out for a Sunday drive.”

UP: To The Sharper Image catalog, that purveyor of all things yuppified, for displaying on its cover, and offering for sale, customized Harley-Davidsons. Two designs are available. One is called the “Forties Retro Harley,” the other, the “Anthracite Flame Harley.” Price for either one is $21,900. Now, that seems a taste high, but wait: Theprice includes delivery, okay? So you’d best hurry, as just seven of these bikes are planned, and the two shown here already have been purchased by Sharper Image prez Richard Thalheimer. The bikes, based on 1989 Softails, are the work of Tom Perkins, of the Dudley Perkins Company in San Francisco, one of the nation’s oldest Harley-Davidson dealerships. ®

If you come across a motorcycle-related item that you think should be singled outfor an UP or DOWN, send the information to CJV Roundup, 853 IV. 17th St., Costa Mesa, CA 92627.