In Praise of Cop Bikes
In Praise of Cop Bikes
LEANINGS
Peter Egan
I MUST SAY THAT OUR WEEKLY MEETINGS of the Slimey Crud Motorcycle Gang here in Madison, Wisconsin, are much nicer in the summer than in the winter.
We can sit outside at our favorite beer garden and actually gaze upon our cluster of bikes in person, rather than brood indoors at the bar and merely talk about them. In the winter, we might as well be a Crimean War discussion group, with no visible tie to the subject at hand. It’s hard to feel like a motorcycle gang when there are no bikes nearby; everything becomes theoretical.
Anyway, this week’s meeting was pure bliss. We’d all ridden our bikes to the meeting and were sitting outside, inhaling the blossom-scented air, watching heat lightning flicker across distant clouds and looking fondly at our smorgasbord of motorcycles-Honda 400F, Flawk GT and street-legalized XR650, a couple of Ducatis, various Beemers ancient and modern, Harley FLH, KTM 950, Triumph Sprint, Suzuki DR650, Cagiva Gran Canyon and two old Guzzis.
I had ridden my posh BMW RI 150RT, as I’d been running errands in the city that afternoon, and it has more cargo capacity than my car.
As I hoisted a stein of something called Black Bavarian, the guy next to me-a visitor to our group named Aaron Fisherlooked at my BMW and said, “I’ve always liked cop bikes. And I’ve almost always had one myself.”
I took a sip of my dark Teutonic elixir from nearby Milwaukee, internalized that comment for a moment, and said, “Hmmm, I guess I have, too.”
“I find that the virtues that make a good police bike,” Aaron continued, “also make for a very useful all-around daily motorcycle-comfort, a good riding position, luggage capacity, wind protection, low maintenance, longevity...practicality. If the cops use them, they’re probably pretty good.”
I nodded in agreement. I’d never had an actual police bike-solo saddle, radio rack, crash guards and the rest-but in a lifetime of riding I’d owned several motorcycles that were used by the police forces of the world.
The BMW R100RS, for instance, was employed by both German police and French Motorway Patrol gendarmes during the Eighties, and in 1990 I finally bought one myself and rode it for 10 years.
And then there were Harley FLHs and Kawasaki KZ 1000s. Back when we lived in California, the Highway Patrol just shifted from Shovelhead FLHs and Guzzis to KZ 1000s, and my main bike for most of the Eighties was a KZ1000 MKII. I once got ticketed by a cop who had, essentially, a white version of my own bike, with windshield and radio. Not to mention the screaming siren option.
Later, about the same time the CHP went back to Evo Harleys, I bought myself a Road King, a civilian version of your standard Harley copsickle. During the Nineties, I also owned both a Honda ST 1100 and a Moto Guzzi 1000SP, which were used as patrol bikes in England and Italy, respectively, and probably a few other places as well.
And now I’ve got a BMW RI 150RT, which seems to be appearing all over the world in police livery-Germany, Italy, California, etc. I was in Italy last fall and saw no fewer than 30 of these beauties lined up at the Colosseum to patrol a Maserati rally arriving in Rome. Apparently, Guzzi lost the local po/izia contract. This would never have happened under Mussolini.
No angry letters, please. Just kidding.
Actually, I do miss the national flavor of police forces riding motorcycles from their own countries. Italian cops just look better on Guzzis, and Harleys always look right in American motorcades. And back in the heyday of British Twins, England was full of Triumph 650 police bikes (another one I’ve owned in civilian guise), and even Norton 850 Interstates (ditto) were used. The imagination reels at the tragically short-but highly entertaining and charismatic-highway pursuits that must have taken place. And your heart goes out to the motor pool mechanics.
Anyway, I seem to have accidentally owned at least seven motorcycles in the past 40 years that have also done duty as police bikes. There’s no secret, psychological wish-fulfillment at work here-I don’t have any mirrored sunglasses or jodhpurs in the closet-and I’ve never wished to be a motorcycle op, at least not in adulthood.
I don’t have the mental organization or the force of personalh for the job. I can’t even get close fi nds to listen to my casual suggestie ’-like going to see Dust to Glory' a third time-let alone make total strangers with lots of tattoos and large biceps keep their hands on top of the hood and spread their feet. No, police work is not for me.
Although it would be fun to tear up my own speeding tickets... Or arrest Pierre Terblanche before he strikes again...
Anyway, I guess I’ve owned this series of cop bikes for the exact reasons my friend suggested. They make good, honest real-world companions for travel, running errands, picking up parts for less reliable bikes and generally hauling the goods.
Looking back on this list of loyal and useful motorcycles, however, it also occurs to me that there are only a few of them I would have wanted as an Only Bike. The Kawasaki, R100RS and SP 1000 would work (and did) but some of the others are a little too grand or relaxed in their deportment to stimulate the full use of one’s adrenal core. With some of them you need something a little more wild and crazy at the other end of the spectrum to counterbalance their seductive comfort and practicality-and as compensation for missing out on all those highspeed chases, crack-house raids and SWAT-team shootouts.
A two-stroke Triple, perhaps. Or maybe a street-legal version of something Duhamel and Mladin might race at Daytona. Or any Ducati.
Cop bikes are all well and good, but you have to give the police something to chase. It’s a sacred part of the social contract. □
