Cheap S.O.B.S

Cheap S.O.B.s

Satisfying Old Bikes, that is...

Reader: Mark Oriomoski Ride: 1981 SuzukiGS750E Rundown: One of 300-plus “Cheap Bastards” submissions, Mark earns his $50 payout with this monster-motored GS. Bought off a dirt-riding buddy as a bas-ketcase, the classic UJM is powered by an 1134cc Orient Express engine, capped with Cam Motion cams, Mikuni RFS carbs, Ward Performance Vortex top-end oiling kit, MRE air shifter and “a ton of other goodies.” Paint by spray can, fairing from his old Kawasaki GPz1100 dragbike. All for $1200. “Hey, if you pick my bike,” the Connecticut resident writes, “I’ll get my original $50 back!” You got it, Mark.

Reader: John Sundstrom Ride: 1995 HondaVFR750 Rundown: Some guys have all the luck. Oregonian Sundstrom found this former CIV Ten Best winner for $2250. Okay, so it had been crashed and needed servicing. No problem: He handled the valve adjustment and other maintenance, found some replacement bodywork on eBay, repaired and repainted the rest of the damaged plastic, then had the wheels powdercoated gold. Final outcome is a bike that Sundstrom says “looks and performs great for approximately $2700.” Lucky devil...

Reader: Chris Egan Ride: 1972 NortonCommando Rundown: “Elemental locomotive charm” is what drew Mr. Egan to this Norton, purchased from a friend as a failed café-racer project. A general refurbishment followed, then Chris went a little crazy, adding a Yamaha XS650 fork, twin discs, a Harley flat-track tailpiece and twin up-pipes. No concours queen (“The frame has more chips than Frito-Lay”), the Norton nonetheless makes its owner happy. “It rides well, stops even better, has a wicked exhaust note and gives my eyes a place to rest when I’m in the garage,” he says. In total, Chris figures he’s into his “Café Combat Scambler” for about $4500.

Reader: Jie Jarosz Ride: 1982 YamahaVision Rundown: “When did cheap jump up to $5000?” asks Joe, who found this low-mileage middle-weight partially disassembled and languishing under a neighbor’s back porch. “Free to a good home,” the sign said. Some jet swapping, a used stator, new battery, brake pads and Bridgestone BT45s got the bike road-ready. The “Riders of Vision” website (www.ghetti.net/rov/) turned up a fairing and optional hard bags from an ’83 model, a Telefix fork brace and upgraded hardware. Initial on-the-road cost was $350, add $1150 for the later upgrades for a total of $1500.

Reader: Robert Aprea Ride: 2001 MZSkorpion Sport Cup Rundown: Reader Aprea was looking for an inexpensive new motorcycle, but wanted something unique. MZ’s fully faired Single struck a chord, but was a no-sale at its $5795 suggested retail price. So the Massachusetts man fired up his computer and began searching the Internet. Turns out a dealer in neighboring New Hampshire had one and was willing to bargain. The post-test-ride final price was $4800, which included removal of the California emissions equipment and delivery to Aprea’s house 2 hours away. He enjoys riding his “Cup” and answering the oft-asked question, “What kind of bike is that?”

Reader: Joel Crister Ride: 1988 HondaHawk GT Rundown: Rather rudely christened the “Silver Slut,” Cristea’s much-modded Honda owes its patchwork existence to good deals on the www.hawkgt.com website. As in CBR600F3 fork, CBR900RR brakes, mismatched Marchesini rims, RC45 tailpiece and chopped Sharkskinz Yamaha R1 upper fairing. “Built on an MD 20/20 budget, total wonga outlay was under $4000,” says Joel. “Most importantly, far less than the cost of one of those SV650 things-hack, gasp-for something lighter and way cooler.” Suzuki fans, send hate mail c/o the magazine...

Reader: Steve Butler Ride: 1983 SuzukiGS1100E Rundown: Though this big Suzook had been sitting for a while and didn’t run, it was in “cherry” condition. Even today, 11 years later, the paint, seat, wheels and exhaust are original. “You might notice that the bike is fitted with red-anodized, aluminum-bodied Fox shocks,” says the proud owner. “I made a terrific score on these-as well as other parts-when my local dealer, Max Pitts Yamaha in Peru, Indiana, took in another GS1100E on trade. It was a beater, but equipped with some wonderful, nearly new aftermarket parts. Max let me swap out all the trick parts for $150.” Result is a great all-rounder for less than $2700.

Reader: Paul Miles Ride: 1986 KawasakiKH58 Rundown: Bought from a friend after it had been cartwheeled into a smaller package at Summit Point Raceway in 1981, Paul’s homage to Kawasaki’s early Eighties Eddie Lawson Replica has all the requisite roadracing upgrades: four-piston Nissin brake calipers with 310mm Braking rotors, ’87 Suzuki GSX-R1100 fork, Fox shock, ’89 GSX-R1100 wheels, braced frame and ’88 GSX-R750 swingarm. Engine hop-up pairs Wiseco 810cc pistons with a ported ’83 Kawasaki GPz750 cylinder head, 29mm Mikuni smoothbores and a Hindle exhaust. “Often mistaken for a ZRX,” the New Yorker reports, “those boneheads.” Total out of pocket? $3975.

Reader:Bill Burns Ride: 1978 YamahaSR500 Rundown: Here’s a real dog. No, not the Yammie Single, “Booger” the 125-pound rotweiller. Booger’s human is “Barnacle Bill,” who purchased the SR at a moving sale for a mere hunski, though a blown base gasket had something to do with the low price tag. Nothing the cardboard from a cereal box and a tube of Permatex ($1.99) couldn’t fix, though. J.C. Whitney provided new tubes and tires ($70) and the 1965 Velorex sidecar was horse-traded for a used set of scaffolds, value about $100. There it is, baddabing, baddaboom, Booger’s got a sweet little chariot for $272. Good dog!

Reader: Brad Leach Ride: 1994 HondaCB1000 Rundown: Who says it doesn’t pay to peruse the classifieds? When Brad found this 18,500-mile black beauty advertised for the unbelievably low price of $2K, half its retail blue-book value, the Ponca City, Oklahoma, resident snapped it up without delay. “All it needed was some polish and new tires, which cost about $200,” he tells us. When Honda introduced the CB1000, it listed for $6999. It was lauded for the “sporty nature of its power delivery, the excellence of its brakes and the quality of its suspension.” So, $2200 well spent? You’d better believe it.

Reader: Brian James Ride: 1984 Moto Guzzi 858 T-5 Rundown: Brian got his first Moto Guzzi, an old 125 that his father purchased from a guy at work, in 1972. This one came by way of eBay. It’s all-original, and needed only to be trucked home to Tennessee from Oklahoma and fitted with new tires; he opted for a set of bias-ply Bridgestone BT45s. “She’s great fun to ride in the twisties,” he says. “The engine has amazing midrange; you never get into fifth gear unless you’re on the interstate.” A great Guzzi, then, for all of $2450.

Reader: Scott Essex Ride: 1989 SuzukiGH400 Rundown: Built tor his wife to ride, Scott's bob-job began life as an entry-level cruiser. He cut off the sub-frame-along with everything else that didn’t meet muster-and fabricated some tubing to lower the seat. Other addons include a Harley-Davidson front fender, Yamaha rear fender, Triumph gas tank, Honda Rebel seat and Sportster exhaust pipe. Most of the parts came from salvage yards and swap meets. “Grand total is just shy of $700,” the Georgian reports. “I paid $250 for the bike and spare engine. It’s the most fun per dollar I’ve ever spent-on a vehicle, anyhow.”

Readers: Mark Etheredge/ Nick Barton Ride: 2000 Moto Guzzi Rundown: This is what happens when a wrecked Guzzi, two friends and 10 days of free time collide. There also may have been some beer involved. The base bike, an insurance write-off, was had for $1800. Frame surgery kicked the rake out to 43 degrees and got seat height down to 27 inches. Tank is stock but lowered on the backbone. Rear fender is from a small-block Guzzi, taillight a la old bob-jobs. Headlight bucket is from a 1960s M-G Eldorado. Crowning touch of the $3500 “EthNick” chopper, says Mark, is “more chrome than a bumper factory!”

Reader: Geoff Webster Ride: 1977 Harley-DavidsonXLCH Rundown: Rescued from four years of solitary confinement in some unfeeling wretch’s garage, this iron-head Sportster required disassembly and lots of elbow grease to get back on the road. “The poor thing was coated with grime and dust,” says Geoff. “The oil tank had 3/4-inch of sludge in the bottom, the front brake was frozen solid from lever to caliper, the carb had more gum than Bazooka Joe, and everything that should have moved freely didn’t.” Let’s see: $1000 purchase price, factor in $726 for tires and miscellaneous parts, and the man’s got himself a standout Sporty for all of $1726. Suh-weet!

Reader: Marc Fortune Ride: 1987 CagivaAlazzurra Rundown: Another eBay bike-buyer, Marc has three Alazzurras, this one serving as his daily rider/weekend roadracer. Lots of mods, including a Honda CBR600F3 fork, Brembo four-piston front caliper and Pantah-style plastic. “The bike is ridden nearly 50 miles per day, and raced as often as I have time,” he says. “I earned a third and a seventh at my last two races, and am currently 10th in points in the Florida-region Lightweight Sportsman class.” Sans gas, the little V-Twin tips the scales at 340 pounds. Pretty good for $3890.

Reader: John Foyston Ride: 1994 HondaST1100 Rundown: Funny, it doesn’t look like an ST1100. That’s because the sport-tourer had been pitched into a swamp, pranging off the fairing and fork tubes in the process. Foyston got the wreck for $915 and started tabbing. A VF1000R fork had nothing better to do, so on it went. Likewise, Hurricane brakes and a Suzuki front wheel. Headlight is from a ’34 Ford. A friend helped with the new instrument panel, which includes VD0 gauges and “a St. Christopher’s medal for symmetry.” The same pal helped with the headers, which attach to Norton Commando mufflers. Another buddy shot the paint. With a little help from his friends, John’s un-standard ST was built for about $3000.

Reader:Joseph Kuchera Ride: 1986 SuzukiGSX-R100 Rundown: A Hall of Fame sportbike for $1835? Joe couldn’t say no when he came across a clean 35,000-mile Gixxer 1100 for $1500, including matching leather jacket, helmet and gloves. That winter, the Illinois resident polished and painted the rims, replaced tires and brake pads, changed fluids, then fitted a Zero Gravity windscreen and a Vance & Hines pipe, the latter yet another eBay acquisition. “She’s beautiful!” enthuses Kuchera. “Some may call me a cheap s.o.b., but I call myself a lucky cheap s.o.b.!” Agreed.

Reader: Jon Seizinger Ride: 1977 Harley Super Glide Rundown: Are you a victim of sticker-shock down at the local H-D shop? Then take a cue from Jon, who acquired a down-on-its-luck Big Twin for $1000. “It was disgusting and it didn’t run,” he says. Over the next year, it cleaned up pretty well. Jon rebuilt the motor himself, adding a smattering of go-fast bits, but then ran into budget problems. These were solved by shopping the sidewalk sales at nearby dealerships, using his pals’ take-off parts and low-ball bidding on eBay. Final tab? A shade under $5000. Says Jon, “It turned out much nicer than I originally anticipated, runs great and is leak-free. I’m pretty proud of it.” Damn right.

Reader: Joe Adams Ride: 1975 TriumphTrident Rundown: The key to cheap Britbikes is “sweat equity,” says Adams, who picked up a pair of Triumph Triples-one a runner, one in boxes-for $3300. He already had a stock T160, so Joe decided to have a little fun with the runner. A universal quarter-fairing went on, as did a solo seat and second front disc. New paint, a sprinkling of chrome, and Joe’s mild café job is a real head-turner for a little over $4000. “Did I mention the elbow grease?” he asks. “Polishing an old Britbike is good for the soul-at least that’s what I tell my wife.”

Redder: Steve Dobbs Ride: 1989 SuzukiKatana 1190 Rundown: We have a winner! Air Force man Dobbs is jawing with his first sergeant one day, saying how much he wants a bike. Sarge mentions he has one that’s not been ridden in a year, come get it, no charge. What greets Steve is a crusty but complete 1100 Kat. “I at least had to give him a dollar for it,” says Steve, who then sprung for a $200 tune-up. But that’s it, a big-bore asphalt-eater for $201, its only real bugaboo a faded and chipped gas tank. “I’m so cheap, I hope you print this just so I can pay for a tank cover,” he jokes. Your $50 is on its way, Steve, along with another $50 for being the Top Gun S.O.B. Dinner’s on us!