101 Things To Do Before You Die

101 things to do before you die

UP FRONT

David Edwards

l.GO FOR A LONG RIDE WITHOUT A helmet. 2. Go for a short ride without any clothes. 3. Attend the Isle of Man TT at least once, say hello to the fairies. 4. Attend Daytona Bike Week at least once, say hello to the strippers. 5. Attend the Sturgis Rally at least once, say hello to the trailer queens. 6. Vow to lose 20 pounds, order a $2500 set of custom leathers. 7. Gain 20 pounds, see about alterations to the old, scuffed set. 8. Tour the Alps. 9. Tour New Zealand. 10. Tour Arkansas. 11.

Make love on your motorcycle (it can be in the garage). 12. Discover why centerstands are essential in the garage. 13. Read Joe Scalzo’s Gary Nixon: A Racer’s Story. 14. Have Nixon sign your copy. 15. Have Scalzo sign it. 16. See Jay Leno at the Love Ride, don’t snap a photo, don’t ask for an autograph. 17. Take a track school. 18. Completely knacker a set of tires at a track

school. 19. Show up on your next Sunday-morning ride with said tires, feign indifference when someone notices. 20. Go vintage roadracing. 21. Spend way too much money tricking out your BSA B50 vintage roadracer. 22. Never vintage roadrace a tricked-out BSA B50. 23.

Buy a scooter. 24. Buy a Harley. 25. Buy a Harley scooter. 26. Shake hands with Giacomo Agostini. 27. Remember Mike Hailwood. 28. If an

ex-works MV Agusta or Honda 250 Six is running anywhere within 1000 miles, be there. 29. Compliment someone on their riding skills. 30. Work on your riding skills. 31. Speak knowingly of T.E. Lawrence. 32. At least know how to pronounce “Brough.” 33. Beg, borrow or steal a ride on a J.A.R-engined Brough Superior. 34. Score bonus points for knowing what J.A.P. stands for. 35. Never use the term “Jap crap.” 36. Learn from Soichiro Honda’s life

story. 37. Own at least one Honda. 38. Ride a real Indian Chief before it’s too late. 39. Ride a real Triumph Bonneville before it’s too late. 40.

Remember to write a thank-you note to the guys who invented electric-starting, counterbalancers, Yamabond and horizontally split crankcases. 41. Own a Norton Commando. 42. If you have the means, own a Kenny Dreer Norton Commando. 43. Never own a Norton named Nemesis or Nirvana. 44. Have dinner with Sammy Miller. 45. Have a Guinness with Peter Egan. 46. Have a conversation with Kevin Cameron. 47. Have a rum with Ron Wood. 48. Have a smoke with Bud Ekins. 49. Have sex with Leeann Tweeden (as if...). 50. Ride the Stelvio Pass between Switzerland and Italy. 51. Ride the Grossglockner High Alpine Road between Fusch and Heiligenblut. 52. Ride the Cherohala Byway between Tennessee and North Carolina. 53. Ride Route 66 between Chicago and San Bernardino. 54. Ride the Pacific Coast Highway between San Luis Obispo and Monterey. 55. Ride Laguna Seca Raceway between Turns 8 and 8a. 56. Actually ride to the Sturgis Rally. 57. Take your 94-year-old grandmother for a quick spin. 58. Go for a weekend tour with your dad while you still can. 59. Buy your son a brand-new minibike. 60. Better yet, buy your son a wrecked minibike, fix it up together. 61. Experience a Yamaha YZF-R1. 62. Experience a Suzuki Hayabusa. 63. Experience a Kawasaki ZX-12. 64. Experience a Honda CBR1100XX. 65. Experience a 125-mph speeding ticket. 66. Use a bail bondsman at least once, say hello to your new insurance premium. 67. Buy a $100 junker. 68. Go into hock to buy a blue-chip classic. 69. Have more fun on the junker. 70. Attend a European Grand Prix. 71. Attend the next USGP, if there ever is one (looks good for 2001). 72. Spend a day aboard an old bevel-drive Ducati, preferably with open Lafranconi pipes. 73. Understand the phrase, “same-day steering.” 74. Swear off earplugs forever. 75. Build a bobjob. 76. Build a chopper. 77. Build a cafe-racer. 78. Build a street-tracker. 79. For Godsake do not build yet another pastel-painted billet-bloated custom Harley-Davidson. 80. Learn to wheelie like Don Canet, crossedup, through three gears. 81. Learn to appreciate going slow. 82. Learn to double-jump like Jimmy Lewis. 83. Learn that some things can’t be learned. 84. See as many mile dirttracks as possible. 85. Always cherish the memory of Ricky Graham, feet up, rear tire boiling, Turn 4, the San Jose Mile. 86. Wish Honda still had an RS750 dirt-tracker for Nicky Hayden to ride. 87. Live long enough to see Jay Springsteen retire. 88. Enter the Baja 1000. 89. Enter the Iron Butt Rally. 90. Enter the Pikes Peak Hillclimb. 91. Buy a sidecar rig for yourself, claim it’s for the wife/kids/cocker spaniel. 92. Add the following to your ride résumé: a) BSA Gold Star b) Ducati Supermono

c) 1960s Harley XLCH Sportster

d) Yamaha V-Max e) old Triumph T100C f) new KTM R/XC g) 1973 Honda Elsinore 250 h) 2000 Honda CR250R i) anything early American with belt drive j) anything late Japanese with slicks. 93. Have Malcolm Smith sign your copy of On Any Sunday. 94. Have Seth Enslow sign your copy of Crusty Demons of Dirt. 95. Do a 1000-mile day. 96. Treat yourself to a whirlpool, steambath and massage the next day. 97. Never, ever do a 1000-mile day again. 98. Have a story that involves yourself, a certain three-time world champion, way too much alcohol and an anatomically correct blow-up doll. 99. Never, ever tell that story, innocent though it may be. 100. Plan a ’round-the-world trip on a BMW R1150GS, even though there’s no chance in hell you’ll actually go. 101. Buy the GS, just in case.