Killer Kx500

Killer KX500

CALIFORNIA SPECIALS

A big-bore motocrosser with lights and license? Call It wretched excess wearing knobbies

TODAY, CHILDREN, let's talk about playing marbles with live hand grenades. This is the Morton's Monster Machine, a Kawasaki KX500, and we're going to ride it on the street.

Morton brothers Tim, 28, and Chip, 31—the former a desert racer, the latter a closet mad scientist—have taken Tim’s old Baja racebike, a 1993 KX500, and transformed it into a dual-purpose bike with a different purpose.

This sickest of streetbikes started innocently enough. A set of Excel gold rims

replaced the pretzeled stockers, Bridge stone D-P tires installed. The frame was powdercoated metallic gray and bud dypegs were added to a reinforced rear subframe. Acerbis plastic replaced the thrashed standard body pieces. The motor, all powervalved 499cc of it, remained basically stock excepting an FMF pipe and 1SDE muffler, which takes a small bite out of the bark.

Tricking the California authorities is a custom Baja Designs street-conversion kit, which has all the necessities to pass Highway Patrol regulations.

When it’s time to bring the beast to life, leave your loafers and tennies at home-serious stomp is needed on the kickstart lever. Then the real fun begins. Once underway, you are punished with a ride that is stiff and unbearably jerky. The 16/42 gearing is good for 110 mph, but first is so tall you feel every surge of the coffee-can-sized piston. And don’t look for such niceties as a speedometer or odometer-the dash comes complete with an on/off switch. Just as well, really, because the Mortons’ Killer KX requires an eyes-forward riding stance at all times. Throttle control is a must; the bike can and will spin its big back knobby at any moment, leaving incriminating black stripes. Get traction and it’s Wheelie City, USA. Heck, crossed-up, in-the-tum, burning-out power-wheelies are available too, some skill required.

Vibration will shake spare change out of your pockets. After some experimentation, the Mortons’ preferred dampening method is “to have a chick on the back.” Seems the extra weight of a passenger reduces vibes, even if it further hinders front-wheel ground contact.

You say this KX500 would be more appropriate at the Carlsbad Raceway starting gate than at a Sunset Strip stop signal? The Mortons might say you missed the point entirely. -Jimmy Lewis