The Sport of the '90s
The sport of the '90s
AT LARGE
Steven L. Thompson
SIDECARS ARE WONDERFULLY AMUSing devices to drive (you don't "ride" a sidecar), but they're not what you'd call mainstream motorcycles anymore. My last stint in one was a long haul, when I drove a Kawasaki KZ1100 equipped with a Vetter Terraplane from L.A. to Anchorage, Alaska. It was fun in a weird kind of way, but it reinforced my understanding of why sidecars just sort of disappeared from the roads. Even in Britain, where the crazy road-tax, licensing and insurance systems kept them alive as more-or-less viable transportation appliances until the 1970s. they've slipped into eclipse.
Except in racing: Sidecar racing is a big chunk of European sport. and is presumably kept going h~ its specta dc-appeal, since its relevance to Street hardware has long since been severed. (How many monocoque kneelers powered by Yamaha TZ500 engines have you seen on the boule vard recently!)
It was an trtic1e of faith among us solo roadracers in the British AutoCycle Union in the !960s and `70s that sidecar guys were just plain crazy. Mainly it was because the side car, no matter how modern, remains cursed by its oddball number of wheels to being stuck midway be tween the car and the bike. That. af ter all, is what makes watching side cars race so intriguing.
But not relevant. This occurred to me once again as I watched the latest loony attempt h~ some stressed-out sports-TV producer to fill the vora cious maw of cable television sports. I think the "sport" I caught a glimpse of involved a couple of massive guys trying to kill another, smaller guy who was attempting to put a ball in a basket. . . something like a Rambo ized and downsized madman's ver sion of re2ular old basketball.
Thinkin2 about that idea. about the need for spectacle sports for the TV zombies of America. and about sidecars, I realized that the time was probably right for a sport I conceived in a moment of fun some years ago: Two-Up Touring-Bike Roadracing.
This sport has everything going for it that sidecar racing does, and more. First of all. it's as uniquely American as NASCAR Grand National stockcar racing. I mean, since most of the worId~s serious touring bikes are in America. shouldn't we he the first to embrace putting them on racetracks?
Second. of course. two-up tourin2bike racing would be a family sport. just as sidecar racing allows husband and wife (or ho~and girlfriends. or dad and kids) to spend Sundays at speed together. Indeed, aside from car rally-racing. I can't think of other speed sports that do allow such togetherness in a race vehicle.
Third. since nobody knows what styles would work with two racers Ofl a Gold Wing. the spectacle-factor would be staggering. Some couples would probably opt for both rider and "monkey" hanging off: some for the co-rider. some for the rider only. maybe with the co-rider leanin2 the other wa~. The possibilities are as endless as the different configura tions of the machines themselves.
Which is the fourth important point. Unlike solo roadracing as it now exists, production touring-bike racing would result in a wonderfully varied starting grid. You'd have Aspencades facing Voyagers. Caval cades against K I OOLTs. Electra Glides and anything else that can meet the specs.
What would those specs be? Well. of course, you'd have the Box Stock Turn-Key Class, in which modiñca tions would be allowed only to tires. brakes and suspension. hut in which all the original equipment. from the stereo to the electric compass. would have to be kept functional (and he proven so in tech inspection). And then voud have the Classic Class. which would allow all those old 1 97~ Gold Wings and similar-vintage Moto Guzzi Californias, BMW R90s and the like to seek glory in their dot age. And final!, you'd have the Modified Class, in which the only re quirements were engine displace ment, standard luggage capacity. a dual seat and full fairing, but the rest wide open to Yankee ingenuity.
When I first proposed~this ii~i print. some years back, it was taken as a joke. And, indeed, only a few weeks ago. in an otherwise typically serious Ci'cle ft~r/c/staff meeting (held in the garage to discuss why the designer of the Honda Pacific Coast didn't no tice that the little fairing strakes by your ankles direct the wind perfectly up your pants legs). when I again ta bled the issue for discussion, Ron "The Kid" Lawson blurted out some thing to the effect that I was still crazy after all these years, concluding with, "Geez. Thompson, you haven't changed a bit!"
Perhaps not. But the world has: and in a world which takes seriously not only sidecars hut "sport" like that we see on cable TV these days. touring-bike racing is obviously a sane and suddenly relevant form of motorsport. Even Lawson relented as the idea ate into his cortex like hydro chloric acid. observing. "Yeah. . .1 get it. Sure. Why not touring bikes on the super-speedwavs. just like NASCAR stockers?"
Why not indeed? Although I al ways envisioned it as a form of road racing. surely the image of 50 Big Rigs drafting each other around the high banks of Daytona. radios blar ing Willie Nelson, can-caddies swinging in the breeze, rider and co rider crouched low in identical leath ers, both desperately trying to stop the weaves and wobbles of their bikes as their 200-horsepower. six-cylinder engines punch them up to 1 70 miles an hour. would be as exciting for them and the TV zombies as any form of motorsport ever invented. It has everything: relevance, style, speed and spectacle. All it needs is the right guy to promote it into life. And, of course, a lot of other guys with `Wings and wives ready for racing.
Are they out there? Only timeand TV-will tell. Stay tuned.
